New evidence suggests that dogs are the first wave of an ancient alien conspiracy. Researchers have pieced together a damning web that’ll have you howling. “We used to think the aliens had left earth”, said one researcher. “Now we understand we were barking up the wrong tree.” The researchers discovered this alarming bit of information after lab tests confirmed the presence of dogs on a piece of martian rock.
Once we saw these paw prints on a red rock, we knew there was only one explanation: dogs came from space to observe us, learn our ways, befriend us, and ultimately chew up our shoes and homework. This is all part of a plan to keep us in control,” Said leading scientist Michael Woofer.
Looking back through historical documentaries, it’s clear the evidence was always there. Star Trek, which chronicled mans journey through space in the 1970s, accidentally spilled the beans. At the time, the popular logic was the showmakers ran out of ideas. But this new evidence has called into question the validity of that theory.
In a way, the truth was always there, staring us in the face with its sweet little eyes. The truths which are hardest to comprehend for some are the easiest for others. Really, when you set logic aside, can you honestly say that they aren’t aliens? No, you can’t, because you’re so smart. Have you ever been wrong? Probably not.
Not much is known about the future of this invasion. But, researchers are hoping the ultimate goal of the alien dog race is friendly in nature. “There’s no denying the aliens have worked hard to become mans best friend,” said Tyrkle Lipcus, a dog alien expert in the New Mexican tundra. “It’s been a long, slow process, and right now our guard is down. But so far, it’s been pretty adorable.”